Michelle McKinney Hammond
author of If Men Are Like Buses, Then How Do I Catch One?

GGBC: Michelle, you've stated that you wrote this book because "it's the one book you wanted to read yourself but couldn't find in the Christian bookstore." What did you mean by that?

MMH: I WANTED A BOOK WITH BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES THAT WERE REALISTIC AND APPLICABLE TO MY LIFE AS A MODERN DAY WOMAN. THE FEW BOOKS I HAD MANAGED TO FIND WERE SO SPIRITUAL THEY FAILED TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES THAT ASSAULTED ME ON A DAILY BASIS AS A SINGLE WOMAN. I JUST FELT IT WAS TIME TO GET REAL!

GGBC: You offer clear, practical observations about male/female relationships, like, "Women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife." It seems so obvious, yet we can make it so complicated, can't we? Do you think women are trying too hard?

MMH: WOMEN DEFINITELY ARE TRYING TOO HARD. IT'S NOT ALL THEIR FAULT, HOWEVER. WE LIVE IN A MAKE IT HAPPEN WORLD, IT'S HARD TO LET GO AND LET GOD WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS SCREAMING THE OPPOSITE. THIS CALLS FOR AN EXTRA MEASURE OF FAITH ON OUR PART AS WOMEN. WE NEED TO ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER TO WAIT ON THE LORD.

GGBC: Your four previous books have sold over 60,000 volumes (obviously they're what singles are looking for). With your straightforward, conversational, and humorous style which also incorporates a lot of Scripture how is your message being received by women so far?

MMH: I GET TONS OF MAIL ATTESTING TO CHANGED LIVES AS WELL AS CHANGED MINDS. THAT IS ALL I CAN HOPE FOR. MY HEARTS' CRY IS TO MAKE THE WORD OF GOD PRACTICAL FOR EVERYDAY LIVING. GOD HAS AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. WE SIMPLY PERISH BECAUSE WE DON'T DO THE INVESTIGATIVE WORK MOST OF THE TIME TO GLEAN HIS RICH ADVICE.

GGBC: As far as a woman knowing God's will for her in a life's mate, you state that, "If you have to ask, the answer is already clear." What do you mean by this?

MMH: GOD ALWAYS GIVES A RESOUNDING CONFIRMATION WITH HIS WORD AND DIRECTIONS TO US. WE HAVE THE PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AS WE MAKE DECISIONS SUPERVISED BY HIM. BUT, WHEN WE ARE CHOOSING TO DO OUR OWN THING, QUESTIONS ABOUND AND THERE IS NO PEACE. IF YOU NEED TO GET THE REASSURANCE OF OTHERS ABOUT THE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE, IT'S PROBABLY NOT THE PERSON FOR YOU.

GGBC: Your book talks about some painful, negative experiences you've had with men and the "dating game" yourself. What has happened for you, personally, since you quit "chasing buses," so to speak, to meet a man?

MMH: MY LIFE IS A LOT MORE JOYFUL, I'LL TELL YOU THAT. I FIND THAT I ALSO ATTRACT A DIFFERENT KIND OF MAN. MORE THE TYPE I WAS LOOKING FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE.

GGBC: Seeking love can be all-consuming for us at times. If we give up searching for the love we need from men, how are we going to get it? How will we spend our time?

MMH: LIFE DOES NOT CONSIST OF JUST HAVING A MAN. WE NEED TO BE IN FULL TILT PURSUIT OF OUR PURPOSE. THE REASON WE WERE CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE. USING THE GIFTS WE HAVE NATURALLY TO BLESS OTHERS AROUND US. AS WE APPLY OURSELVES TO BEING A BLESSING TO EVERYONE THAT GOD PUTS IN OUR PATH OUR LIVES ARE FILLED WITH MEANING AND FULFILLMENT. THAT'S WHEN MR. RIGHT COMES ALONG AND FINDS A CONTENT, ATTRACTIVE WOMAN LIVING HER LIFE ON PURPOSE. TO HIM THAT IS IRRESISTIBLE.

GGBC: Michelle, your career has taken you many places in radio, writing and producing, conference speaking, and as a vocal performer. Can you talk about the career area of a woman's life and how God works in this?

MMH: GOD WANTS TO TAKE WHATEVER WE HAVE AND USE IT TO BUILD UP OTHERS AND PROVOKE THEM TO BE FRUITFUL. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR GIFT, IF YOU SEEK THE LORD HE WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO USE YOUR NATURAL ABILITIES TO EMPOWER OTHERS TO BE ALL THAT HE CREATED THEM TO BE. SOME OF US ARE JUST NATURAL ENCOURAGERS. START ENCOURAGING. SOME OF US HAVE MORE PRACTICAL SKILLS THAT NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO OTHERS IN THE BODY. SUCH AS MONEYMANAGEMENT, OR OTHER TYPES OF SKILLS. IT'S TIME TO GET BUSY.

GGBC: If Men Are Like Buses contains a "treasure chest" of straight talk and advice for the woman whowants to meet a great man, but also wants to please God first and end up with the right life partner. What one thing would you like readers to take away from it and remember?

MMH: THAT NO MAN WILL EVER MAKE YOU HAPPY IF GOD ISN'T THE FIRST LOVER OF YOUR SOUL. AND A PARTNER WILL NOT COMPLETE YOU IF YOU ARE NOT OPERATING IN YOUR PURPOSE.

GGBC: What is this destination you call, "Love City?" (Song of Solomon 2:4: He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.) Do you think your bus is headed there?

MMH: IF YOU ARE HAVING A LOVE AFFAIR WITH YOUR COMING BRIDEGROOM (JESUS) YOU ARE DEFINITELY ON THE WAY TO "LOVE CITY!" THIS IS A PLACE WHERE ALL IS WELL WITH YOUR SOUL. YOU ARE IN LOVE AND YOU FEEL LOVED. YOU HAVE COME TO THE UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU ARE A WELL-KEPT WOMAN AND THERE IS SENSE OF FULFILLMENT THAT NO OTHER PERSON OR CIRCUMSTANCE IN YOUR LIFE CAN DISLODGE.

GGBC: Michelle, there are women who are finding it difficult to wait on God's timing in regards to finding or being found by a life partner. How can women begin to see the purpose in singleness and move forward in the things of God and trust in His best for every area of their lives?

MMH: WHEN WE SPEND ALL OF OUR TIME FOCUSING ON WHAT WE WANT BUT DO NOT HAVE, WE CAN GET STUCK IN A PAINFUL GROOVE. MOST OF THE TIME THIS IS A HARD STRUGGLE BECAUSE SO MUCH OF A WOMAN'S SELF ESTEEM IS CONNECTED TO HER DRAWING VALIDATION FROM MEN. BUT, THIS IS INCORRECT. IT IS WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST THAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE. THEREFORE FOCUS ON YOUR FIRST LOVE AND ALLOW HIM TO FILL YOUR LIFE WITH MEANING. BEGIN TO SEE YOUR WORTH THROUGH HIS EYES. THIS BEING DONE, YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU WILL NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN THE BEST WHEN MAKING CHOICES THAT AFFECT YOU PERSONALLY.

GGBC: Michelle, do you believe Christian woman should pray for God to send them a husband?

MMH: PRAYER FOR ME IS CONVERSATION WITH GOD. I TELL HIM EVERYTHING. THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY. IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP AN OPEN DIALOGUE WITH HIM SO THAT YOU ARE OPEN TO HEAR HIS DIRECTION. SHOULD YOU ASK GOD FOR A HUSBAND EVERYDAY? I DON'T THINK YOU NEED TO. HE ALREADY KNOWS THE DESIRE OF YOUR HEART. SHOULD YOU BE TALKING WITH HIM ALONG THE WAY ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL AS YOU WAIT ON ANY GIVENDAY? ABSOLUTELY. AFTER ALL, HE IS OUR GREATEST SOURCE OF COMFORT.

GGBC: Do you think the man chooses the woman or the woman chooses the man in regards to a romantic relationship?

MMH: THE MAN CHOOSES. WHEN THE WOMAN CHOOSES SHE IS NEVER SECURE, BECAUSE SHE IS OUT OF SPIRITUAL ORDER
FROM THE BEGINNING. JESUS CHOSE HIS BRIDE. AND HE IS THE EXAMPLE FOR ALL MEN.

GGBC: In your opinion, should Christians kiss dating goodbye? Is it in God's will for us to date a myriad of people while we are being prepared for our mates? How can women guard their hearts and date without getting emotionally involved too soon?

MMH: I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT FOR WOMEN TO HAVE RICH FRIENDSHIPS WITH MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. NOT EVERYONE YOU MEET WILL BE THE PERFECT MATE FOR YOU BUT THEY CAN BE AN INVALUABLE SOURCE OF FUN, COMFORT AND LEARNING. AS I SAY IN MY BOOK. DATING IS NOT FOR MATING, IT IS A TIME OF SHARING EXPERIENCES, BUILDING A FRIENDSHIP AND COLLECTING DATA. HOW CAN YOU MAKE A DECISION THAT YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM. YOU NEED A LOT OF INFORMATION BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE MATE MATERIAL AND QUALIFY FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.

GGBC: What's next in your "trippin' and travelin'" schedule, Michelle? For readers who devour the "straight talk to girlfriends" in this book, will there be another one down the line?

MMH: I AM PRESENTLY WORKING ON A BOOK FOR NEXT YEAR ENTITLED, "SASSY, SINGLE, AND SATISFIED" HOW TO GET TO HAPPY. ALSO YOU CAN LOG ON TO MY WEB SITE AT HEARTWING.ORG FOR UPDATES ON MY SPEAKING SCHEDULE AS WELL AS MY ANNUAL "GET A LOVE LIFE" VALENTINES CRUISE.

GGBC: Thanks so much Ms. McKinney-Hammond for your time!